I am a little emotional these days. The last week or so just about everything is making me cry. I cry when D leaves for work. I cry when the dogs bark. I cry when Mae gets in trouble. I cry when D is late getting home from work. I cry when I have to fix something for dinner. I cry at commericals on tv. I cry when I think about Lou being the last baby I will have. I cry when Lou cries. I cry when I look at how much Mae has grown up. I just cry all the time…
I am blaming it on hormones and exhaustion. I am trying so hard to take care of everything. Between picking up the house, changing diapers, dressing the girls, feeding the girls, laundry, walking the dogs, doing the dishes, and so on, I don’t have anytime during the day for me. I get up at 430 in the morning and take a shower just so I can make sure I have time for it during the day. Of course, I don’t have time to do my hair or makeup before the girls need me, so my hair is usually standing straight up and I have no make up on, but I am atleast clean. As of tomorrow I should be done with my school stuff, so that will take some pressure off of me on that end, but I still have too much to do.
D wants to help me through this emotional roller coaster I am on, but he tends to make me feel worse. The other night he was actually just mean about it when he told me that I was making a choice to be miserable. Thanks honey. I am already having a hard enough time and then for him to tell me that this is something I want. It did not help anything. He has suggested that I get out for awhile, but truthfully I have no desire to go anywhere. I don’t feel presentable enough to go out into public with the way I am looking.
I am just having a rough time, but hoping it will pass quickly. I am so blessed to have this house to clean, a wonderful husband to keep happy, and two beautiful girls to care for, but I am overwhelmed.